You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
My life is pants optional.
Randomize
