ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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