i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Randomize
