i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
I have aggressive nipples.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
