you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
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