why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
