Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Randomize
