hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
