Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
