It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
3pm strippers are depressing
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Randomize
