It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
two words...techno handjob
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
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