are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
