I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
