This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
