that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
