that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Randomize
