there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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