i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
I think i peed on brittanys purse
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Randomize
