I will die if light touches me.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
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