I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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