how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
