I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Randomize
