Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
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