Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize