i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Randomize
