Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
