he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Randomize
