so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
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