giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Randomize
