idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
