idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Randomize
