There was a lot of him and a little penis
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
