clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
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