Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Randomize
