the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
