you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Randomize
