could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
