Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize
