Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Randomize
