dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
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