New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
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