Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Randomize
