I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I just gargled with NyQuil
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Randomize
