I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
When did angry sex become our thing?
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Randomize
