My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
