If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
