The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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