would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
