My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
