Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
I want to walk on stilts...naked
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Randomize
