It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
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