her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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