Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Randomize
