Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Randomize