I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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