I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Randomize
