She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
