Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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