You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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