I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize
