Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
