How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
