im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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