Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
