his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
My vagina just clenched in fear
Randomize
