You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
