Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize
